The journal of Shortie aka Baby Gurl

I'm so fucking tired of them and their fucked up things they believe in. My step dad is spanish and he LOVES to bash on white americans and blacks. Seeing as I am half-black this pisses me off so fucking much. He loves to say that ALL black people are trouble makers, rapists and assholes. He says most white americans are hypocritical assholes. But if one person said even one word about spanish or preuvian people, he'd go into a ranting rage. My mom is the same fucking way, excpet she says we never see enough sob stories on white people like we do on blacks or hispanics. I'm so fucking tired of that shit and I'm about to cuss them the fuck out. They expect me to beleive in what they believe and I refuse to! Its people like my mom and dad who are going to keep us from ever acheving world peace. Everyone is ALWAYS WRONG and THEIR ALWAYS RIGHT! You have to perfect with staight A's, you have to basically discrimante blacks and you have to agree with EVERY THING that they say or they don't like you. They've proved that with me and my friends and Ryan. If you don't agree with them and they hate you and if your their kid, disown you. They haven't done that to me because of sick twisted reason, i'm NOT ready to talk about. Well I gotta go. Dad is bitchin'! Sometimes I just wanna punch him sqaure in his ugly fucking face!!!!

When people tell you that they love you, do they ever really mean it? When they tell you that your beautiful, is it just a lie? How do you know when its safe to trust someone? To let them on your darkest secret, to tell them of the nightmares that plaque you in the dark queit of the night. For me the answer is: NEVER. Sometimes the people that you think you can trust, can't be trusted at all. That seems to proved every danm day of my life. The lies swim around you until you can't trust anyone or even yourself. You let people in on secrets that tear you apart and then they walk all over you and spread it around. You never know if someone is laughing with you or AT you. You never know if people love you or HATE you. You never known when someone wants to protect you or HURT you! You just never know. And when you cry because it hurts you, they call you weak or a coward. They point out your mistakes. They think that your too stupid to see through them. They tell you lies thinking you can't put two and two together. They talk about you behind your back. They build you up and tear you down. They lead you on and then they leave you just barely hanging on to the shame that is your life. The only people I can trust are the ones who've been put through the same hell as me. Who've been lied to and decived their WHOLE lives by the people that they LOVE and THOUGHT, they could trust. I can put two and two together and what I get is that the one person I thought I could trust, the one person I thought loved me, was lying the whole time. Evie, its not you, and its not Trace, Tiff, Dani, Amber, Sam, Andi, Lexie, Cindy, Nikki, Kodi, Lin, Ri or Tommy.

I can't trust anyone but those people and maybe Ry. I never know anymore. My mom fills my head so full of lies that I never know who is my friend and who is my enemy. It swell around and around until I can't take it anymore and I don't even wanna be here anymore. You can't tell me to go to hell. I WAS BORN IN HELL!

TRUE friends are so hard to come by these days. But then something terrible has to happen to make you realize that the people that you thought you aren't the people they PRETEND to be. They turn their backs on you when you really need them the most. Someone does something bad to you and then turns around and calls you a bitch and a slut and turns all those people you love against you. My cousin was raped and the people she call friends turned their backs on her coz the guy called her a bitch for doing was right for her and breaking up with him. Being with his was bad for her health, and he NEVER even CARED about her in the first fucking place. All she was to him was fucking toy, and a trophy girlfriend. He only wanted her for certian things, like pleasure and to show up his ex-lover. But she's the bitch right? Tell me Sarah, Anna, Danna, Rider, how would you feel if you were raped and hit for thinking someone was cute. He sat in cars and on the side walk and got turned on by EVERY GIRL that walked by, but he never told Zoe that she was cute or looked good. Then, she'd say an actor was hott and got hit or yelled at. He NEVER loved her. So she did something for herself and broke up with him. What's so wrong with taking care of YOURSELF for ONCE in your life?! Huh, tell me! I'm waiting you fuck selfish, backstabbing assholes. I HOPE YOU ROT IN FUCKING HELL. I HOPE YOU GET RAPED AND ABUSED AND THEN I'LL TURN MY BACKS ON YOU AND SO WILL ZOE AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO CARED ABOUT YOU. I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS SO MUCH, I WISH YOU'D GET HIT BY A FUCKING BUS! ZOE FIGHTS NOT TO CUT OR HANG HERSELF BECAUSE SHE FEELS SO FUCKING DIRTY AND SCUMMY AND SLUTTY. BUT YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY DAMN THING BUT YOURSELVES. *TAKES OUT BAT AND BEATS THE SHIT OUT HER PILLOW* GOD DAMN IT! ZOE CRIED FOR YOU GUYS IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED AND SHE WAS RAPED AND ABUSED AND YOU TURN YOUR BACKS ON HER?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE?! YOU SAY YOU WANNA CHANGE THE WORLD AND MAKE IT BETTER?! BULL FUCKING SHIT! YOU DON'T TURN YOUR BACKS ON THE ONES WHO CARED ABOUT YOU. I REALLY DO HATE YOU GUYS.

I'm soooo happy! At first I though me and Ryan might be going down the drain. But we've held in there and made it to four months! OMG! I'm soooooooo fucking happy! :Squueals: Hehehe! Ryan gave me a beautiful card and ring. He made me wait the car while he went into the store. He bought me this silver ring with a red heart in the middle and little dimoands beside it! Ryan's the best. I've been so busy with work lately. I work til 5:30 on mondays. 4:30 tuesday to thrus and 5:15 wed to friday! It sucks sometimes. I haven't had anytime to do anything but come home, clean, update my fanfiction for Four Brothers and sleep. Oh and I just found out that one of my "friends"(NOT TIFF OR BETHIE) has been talking shit on me and tryin to make me look like shit. Like I've been treatin' people like shit! All I've gotta say to that "friend" is , fuck you! You don't even really know me! And I don't appreciate the shit your tryin' to start! Maybe your the one, trashin' people. Why the fuck do you gotta be like that? What, b/c you don't like what I said to you one time, LONG ago? I hope you get the fuckin' shit beatin' out of you! You always want everyones attention on you so you do stupid shit and talk shit about people and you blame me or my friends and I don't appreciate that! Keep knockin' on the devils door bitch! Coz some day he's gonna answer! And don't give me any ofthat OLD, got it off a keychain, learned it from my momma bullshit! FUCK OFF! I'MA KNOCK YOU FLAT ON YOUR FUCKIN'ASS IF YOU KEEP GOIN'! AND DON'T SAY I WON'T COZ AT THIS POINT, I WILL! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT! SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MOMMA YOU FUCKIN' FAKE ASS BITCH(THANX LEIGHLYNN!) NOW! MOVIN' ON! I SHOULDN'T BE WASTING MY TIME OR AIR ON AN ATTENTION SEEKIN', BACK STABBIN', STUCK UP BITCH LIKE YOU! AND DON'T TRY TO SAY YOU KNOW MY BOYFRIEND COZ HE AIN'T INTERSETED IN DYKES LIKE YOU! (SORRY GUYS, THAT CAME OUT! I'M SO FUCKIN' PISSED! BUT WHATEVER! I'VE GOT A REASON TO BE HAPPY! RYAN LOVES ME, I LOVE HIM! DESPITE WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS BITCH MIGHT TRY TO SAY! WELL I GOTTA GO, I'VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THEN WASTE MY LIFE BATTLING SOME FAKE ASS BITCH WHO DON'T KNOW NOTHING! TIFF, BETHIE, LEIGHLYNN, CALL ME! LYLAS TO YOU GUYS!

Clipped off my wings
By:Hailie Elizabeth Jordan Donelley


Clipped off my wings so I can’t fly

Got no dreams to get me by

Feelin’ like a doll left on a shelf

Feelin’ like I’ve got to be someone else

And I feel broken inside

The scars that I hide

Just want someone to love me

Just wanna be free

Say what I feel

Make these cuts heal

Just find my time

The time to shine

The time to find someone who cares

Who can chase away all my fears

So hurting here is where I belong

Dreamin’ a song

Blood on my hands to stay strong

The flowers in the graveyard are all gone

I don’t belong

There is no right to heal the wrong

The sun shines bright feelin’ like a do or die

I’m still hurting but theres no tears left to cry

I’ll go where the secrets are told

The roses unfold

Then some day I’ll break away

Til then I’ll just sit here and pray

coz they’ve clipped my wings so I can’t fly

I don’t want to live and I don’t think I’ll try



Let me know what you think!

Do u believe in magic in a young girls heart
how the music can free her whenever it starts
and its magic is the music is groovy
and makes you feel happy like an old time movie
I'll tell you bout a story
It'll free your soul
but its like trying to tell a stranger bout rock 'n' roll



I love that song it rocks! Hehehe, my boyfriend slapped my ass today. It made me laugh and I actually liked it! I really really really like stan a LOT! He's cute, he's funny, can be sweet and will always make me smile when I'm down! We flirt non stop, shamelessly too! Well, g2g! Leighlynn, holla at me sis!

Ughhh! I don't feel good! *pukes*

Ok, the way I'm acting right now has my brother convinced I'm high! HIGH HO SILVER! Lmao! I'm freaking CRAZY as hell right now! Vodka and kool-aid do wonders for your soul! Dude, I see stupid people! Man, they everywhere! *Snorts* my dog just ran into the wall. *Farts* oopsie! I didn't do it! HHKJKHGKLH SLKGHlkj! BOUNCEY BOUNCEY BOUNCEY BOUNCE! Me is bouncin' off the walls! Ow! That bounce made me hit my head! I got booboo! Daddy kiss my booboo! Thanx! So what up world! Man, I think my butt getting big! Oh yea! I like big balls and I can not lie! You other sisters can't deny! When a guy walks in with ugly abs but A big package in your face u get sprung! Lol! I've fucking lost it! LOL! I'm loopy I'm loopy I'm loopy! *Falls out of chair and yells wee* God! Your all freaking idiot! God!

I'm so fucking tired of these childish comments people make towards me on here and I know its gotta be u Garcia! And if its Sam, all I gotta say is, Whats the beef? I thought we was friends! Look just leave me the fuck alone whoever you are! I've got enough shit to deal with seeing as my best friend just died! So, fuck off! Get it, got it, good! Hope u have a fucked up life and choke on a chicken bone!


~In Loving Memory Of~
Brittany Nicole Racine
May 14, 1988-March 29, 2005

You will truly be missed Brittany! But we know ur in heaven smiling down on us and watching out for us!

~Never Forget Brittany Nicole Racine~
-----@ R.I.P-----@

Tuck made passes at my sis, heather right in front of my eyes! I can't believe him! I need some alone time with my evansence cd and darkness! g2g! bye!

I'M CRAZY BEAUTIFUL AND THOUGH THIS IS NOT TOO GOOD CONSIDERING I HAVE A BOYFRIEND> OH WAIT, HE'S CHEATING!! Remind u of a certain some 1 Dyl? *coughs:George* WELL ANY WAYS: I GOT KISSED BY ADAM!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I'VE LIKED HIM 4 EVA AND HE LIKES ME BACK!!! WELL I GOTTA GO! STUFF TO BE DONE!


50:I'LL TAKE U TO THE CANDY SHOP
I'LL LET U LICK THE LOLIPOP
OH GIRL DON'T U STOP
KEEP GOING TO U HIT THE SPOT


OLIVIA: I'LL TAKE U TO THE CANDY SHOP
GIVE U A TASTE OF WHAT I GOT
HAVE U SPENDING ALL U GOT
KEEP GOIN' TO U HIT THE SPOT
WOAH


ME AND MY GURLS ARE DIRRTTY DANCING TO THAT RIGHT NOW! LMAO! I'M BAD! I'M CRAZY! AND I'M BEUATIFUL!! I THINK..... AM I?! LOL!

ITS SNOWING! Lmao!

What am I supposed to do now? Sit back and watch my world crumble to peices. Some thing is up with Travis, I feel like some of my friends are playing games with my mind and heart and my uncle is sick as hell. He got into a car accident with a fucking drunk driver. He was in a coma for a while and came out of it only to get really sick with a temp of 102.3! He's got fluid in his lungs and they suspect brain damage! This fucking sucks! I don't wanna lose another uncle! Not again! I feel like God has abandoned me! I don't know what to do! I don't wanna go back to shcool and I'm stil having the same nightmares that keep me up at night! It never fucking ends does it! I give up! I can't fight it! I might as well sit back and watch as my bf, my friends, everyone that I LOVE, turn their backs on me! Watch as my world falls apart and let the demons I'm fighting take over! I'm NOT going to kill myself though so don't worry! Not that anyone would care at this point! All I am is a burden, a slut, some one who ruins peoples live and plays with their hearts! They think they need to take care of me coz of that shit? Ha, don't worry coz I'll take care of myself for u! I'll just make ur problem disappear! Don't bother looking for me either! I'm going to the one person who actually cares, someone u may think doesn't exist! No! NOT GOD! But he's the one person who cares and loves me, who trully understands me! I g2g and try to eat even though I feel like puking! I'm dead inside! Not that anyone really cares! No one can save me now! I'm too dead inside! I have no soul! My brother was right, the light in my eye is gone! Thats coz I'm dead, u hear me, dead inside!

That's all I'm gonna say

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	delicious
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	heart warming
Your smell is...	exotic
Your smile is...	hypnotising
Your love is...	one of a kind
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I tried to stay away from this depression but I can't its too hard! Leiglynn I know u and dan will get back together! Don't know where me and tuck are going!

Amber I do know you and Dani! Up until u told everyone I was a ugly whore and a bunch of other foul names, I was ur friend! But I refuse to be friends with u if thats how ur gonna treat me!

Bethie would kill me if she knew this!

What stupid celebrity are you destined to kill? by daydreamer8852
Name
Birthdate
You killed
With a
On	June 16, 2022
Quiz created with MemeGen!